Friday, January 22, 2010

Well now what I am supposed to talk about?

I guess I'm pretty tapped out until we head out to Moscow in a couple of weeks.  I've seen photos of the soon-to-be sons of some of my peeps and it's making me so exited!  Traveling blind is different.  With Jackson, we had a little face to ooh and aah over, it made it seem more real somehow.  There was a clearly defined little human at the end of it.  This trip seems more abstract... there SHOULD be a little guy, we HOPE there's a little guy, but we really don't know how it's gonna go.  I'm definitely an optimist, I tend to believe that things are going to work out just fabulously, here we go... la la la.  But this experience, and the uncertainties associated with it are making me a little nervous.

I'm a big believer in destiny.  Things work out the way and in the time they're supposed to.  It never fails that when I need something to happen, it does.  When I'm looking for is 75 cents, I can always find a dollar somewhere.  Is that God working in my life?  I'd like to think so.  I don't think life is a random cycle of events.  I think we're all part of a greater plan, and that I meet the people I need to meet and have the experiences that I need to have.

I wish I had a bit more faith.  I'm trying so hard to relax and let the process unfold as it should.  I wish I knew how to pray a little bit better, and to be more quiet and attentive to the answers that I know are out there.  I know I'll be taken care of, I just need to let it happen.

Soo... (taking a deep breath) here we go... la la la!

PS- Excuse me, but did I just type that we were going to Moscow in a couple of weeks?  OH MY GOD!  We're going to Moscow!  I leave you now in a Wile E. Coyote cloud of dust and tumbleweeds... I've gotta get out of here!

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