I guess I'm pretty tapped out until we head out to Moscow in a couple of weeks. I've seen photos of the soon-to-be sons of some of my peeps and it's making me so exited! Traveling blind is different. With Jackson, we had a little face to ooh and aah over, it made it seem more real somehow. There was a clearly defined little human at the end of it. This trip seems more abstract... there SHOULD be a little guy, we HOPE there's a little guy, but we really don't know how it's gonna go. I'm definitely an optimist, I tend to believe that things are going to work out just fabulously, here we go... la la la. But this experience, and the uncertainties associated with it are making me a little nervous.
I'm a big believer in destiny. Things work out the way and in the time they're supposed to. It never fails that when I need something to happen, it does. When I'm looking for is 75 cents, I can always find a dollar somewhere. Is that God working in my life? I'd like to think so. I don't think life is a random cycle of events. I think we're all part of a greater plan, and that I meet the people I need to meet and have the experiences that I need to have.
I wish I had a bit more faith. I'm trying so hard to relax and let the process unfold as it should. I wish I knew how to pray a little bit better, and to be more quiet and attentive to the answers that I know are out there. I know I'll be taken care of, I just need to let it happen.
Soo... (taking a deep breath) here we go... la la la!
PS- Excuse me, but did I just type that we were going to Moscow in a couple of weeks? OH MY GOD! We're going to Moscow! I leave you now in a Wile E. Coyote cloud of dust and tumbleweeds... I've gotta get out of here!