CONGRATULATIONS to Summer and the Johnson's that got their court dates yesterday!! I'm so happy for them. I wrote someone else that the time between trips is the hardest because you heart and your mind are torn in two. You try to focus on what is happening right here in front of you while constantly thinking about the little person that is waiting for you in Russia.
When we were waiting to go back for Jack there was not one single hour that passed in which he didn't cross my mind... not one single hour. We wondered how he was doing, if he needed anything, if he remembered the brief time he had with us. You've read the birthday post and how heartbreaking it was that he was alone on one the most celebrated birthdays a child has. That first birthday is such a celebration of things, the culmination of a year of growth and change from a helpless infant to a toddler.
We did our best to re-live that year with him. When he came home he could walk, but I carried him everywhere I could on my hip and in the Ergo. He had learned to feed himself, but I fed him every meal. He had learned to fall asleep without anyone holding him, I taught him to fall asleep in my arms. He had weaned off the bottle, I put him back on and used it to establish eye contact and cuddling. He had never had someone respond reliably to his cries, so he never cried when he was hungry or tired. I responded to every single noise he made and taught him that I was there, no matter what. (boy oh boy did he EVER figure out the crying thing!)
You may notice I'm saying "I" did this and that, so where was Daddy? He was right there, every second. He knew that the most important thing in a baby's life is his Mother, at least in the beginning. He supported that initial bonding to me without hesitation. He was home with us for the first four weeks and made sure that the house ran smoothly while we taught our son what a Mommy was, and what a family was. I couldn't have done it if he wasn't there. Jackson figured out pretty quickly that Daddy's chest was a totally awesome place to fall asleep and that Daddy's kisses tickled like Mommy's didn't. He grew to love his Daddy just as much as he loved me.
Now that he's older, of course, Daddy rules the roost. I'm just the glorified social secretary. He still wants to cuddle and play with me, but once Daddy comes home at night, I'm second fiddle. Fickle boy. It doesn't matter... each morning he looks at me with those beautiful green eyes, sighs just a little, lays his head on my shoulder and says "Mommy, I love you all the way to the moon and back".
I don't mind being second fiddle at all.
One Month Post Final Chemo (PFC)
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