Trip One... day two with the boys

I think I forgot to mention before... the boys are in one of the closer homes and takes anywhere from 60-90 minutes to get there, it can take several hours to get back with bad traffic.  And have you heard enough lately about how bad Moscow traffic is?  The director is out on holiday, so we met with the Deputy director instead.  She was lovely and gave us the boys social and family history.  She let us take and photograph the referral photos that we saw yesterday... they are so cute!  We will actually get the copies when we pick the boys up.

Today was absolutely wonderful!  Our oldest boy, who we've named Cooper, was very scared and standoffish yesterday, but as soon as he saw us today he started smiling.  He took us to the playroom and immediately sat in my lap.  He didn't want to play with anything, he just wanted to sit and rock.  Of course, I obliged him!  They brought in his baby brother, who we've named Carter, about 10 minutes later and he ran straight for Lance to play peek a boo.

Cooper is very quiet, he doesn't verbalize much at all.  Toward the end of the session today he was starting to talk more.  Even his caregivers say he doesn't really talk, he just jabbers and points with some single words thrown in.  Thankfully we have a wonderful speech therapist at home he can work with.  She's been seeing Jackson for the last two years and we love her.  He loves to throw balls, and he's a heck of a good catcher!  He likes books and trucks, just like big brother Jackson at home.  He made sure we were watching everything he did.  When we applauded and gave him a big "Mala-dyets!" he just beamed!

Carter is a little imp.  He has a look in his eyes that just warns of impending mayhem.  He's quite the snuggler as well, he hung out in my lap, sort of laid across it like a lounge chair for about 20 minutes.  He was just sucking his thumb, playing a little peek a boo and enjoying the festivities.  He eventually got up and wandered around some more, but stayed pretty close to us overall.  He enjoys running across the room into Lance's legs and giving them a hug, he must have done that at least 10 times!  He's already using some single words like "dai" which means "give it" and holding out his hand.  He can also blow a big wet raspberry like no one's business.

The boys are in different grupas, so they really don't understand that they are related.  I think Cooper might remember Carter as they were home together for six months before they came to the baby house.  I don't really know how much little kids get the whole sibling relationship anyway?  I think at first they just know that they live in the same house with the same people... right?  Cooper was about a year old when Carter was born, kind of young to understand what was going on.

The only unfortunate thing about the situation is that we will not be able to come back for court until April at least.  Carter was placed on the database immediately, so he is free now.  Cooper wasn't placed on the database until two months later because of a question of some family involvement, so he still has some time to serve.  We'll find out today when in April he comes off.  Svetlana says she will file for court the day after it happens and we should have court two weeks later.  Please pray that it's early April, not late!

And then there were.... FIVE?!?

Yessiree, you read that right.  Remember all that blather yesterday about becoming a family of four, yada, yada, yada?  Try five.  We accepted the referral of TWO little boys today.  They're biological brothers, the older one is 27 months old and the little one just turned 12 months old.  We are completely floored!

We got a little nervous when 'S' started off by asking us how we felt about siblings.  We nodded and smiled and laughed... then we realized she was serious.  I stuttered and stammered and said we definitely wanted to maintain the birth order and Jackson was only four and we'd never really thought about bringing two home and what in God's name were we going to call the second one and where would they sleep and we need a bigger car and.... YIKES!

So of course she smiled and said we should go to the MoE and let them give us the referral and then decide.  Off we went to the MoE where we saw the two prettiest little faces smiling up at us.  You know how they tell you that referral photos are hideous?  We are three for three guys.  Jack's photo was awesome, as you've seen, as were the boys.  The oldest one looks like an elf when he smiles and the youngest one has Jack's eyes.

The first visit went really well, the baby warmed up pretty quickly but the older boy took a good 20 minutes to actually look at us.  He sat on the bench and looked sad and scared until I whipped out the secret weapon... bubbles!  After that they were both playful and fun and we had a great time.  Dr. T gave them both a solid thumbs up, the oldest is in the 50th percentile on the growth chart and the baby is in the 75th percentile.  They both have toddler guts and fat rolls and are completely delicious!

I must go to sleep as it's after midnight here and we're in for another long day tomorrow.  I'll let you know how it goes and maybe post some photos of some chub for you to admire (without faces of course!).

Have a great day... we sure did!

We're here!!

Hello from freezing cold Moscow!!  The flights were fairly uneventful although the three hour layover in Rome was painful.  We were so ready to be here, and the waiting was awful.  Apparently we landed with a very large flight from somewhere in Asia, so passport control was a nightmare.  We were there for between 45 minutes to an hour.  There were only two lanes open for non-citizens, and three for Russian Nationals that were standing wide open.  An official came by and yelled something in Russian, which led to a minor stampede to the Citizens only lines.  Being good sheep we herded over with them, and lo and behold they put us through!  Hallelujah!  Cause baby I was starting to smell!!

We found our guide Violet waiting for us and she took us outside in the somewhat bracing night time air to wait for the driver.  Moscow traffic was typical... slow and painful, but we made it to the apartment safely.  The view from the apartment is just amazing, we can see two of the Stalin's Seven Sisters, and oh my gosh are they beautiful at night.  There's a building across the street that has the Russian flag in lights covering it's entire surface... too cool.  I'm including a couple of photos, they won't do it justice, but it's the thought that counts, right?

If you guys have ever doubted Peace Travel, DON'T!  The Wifi here is lightning fast, we've Skyped home with video and the quality was superb.  It's easy to tell that other families have been here.  There's leftover supplies like coffee and sugar, a Brita filter, a nice Conair hairdryer... all the comforts of home.  We ever spent Sunday night just like we would any other, watching Mythbusters on Discovery Channel.  Sweet!!

In a little less than 15 hours our lives are going to change once again.  We will go from a family of three to a family of four (in spirit anyway).  I'll let you know how it goes with everything, from the worlds smallest elevator at the MoE to meeting Dr. T at the baby house.

Wish us luck!!

Hugs to all... Kim and Lance

In less than 24 hours....

We'll be on our way to meet our newest family member.  It's been a busy week here, trying to get everything finalized while dealing with the creeping pulmonary rot and one nearly crazed pre-schooler.  It's all packed and secured, cleaned and folded, sparkly and shiny... the kitchen is anyway.

Jack has settled down somewhat.  He's still a little off the chain, but we've had no more body fluid incidents, thank heaven!!  He keeps saying over and over again, "I'm sure gonna miss you guys!" and we keep affirming that we're coming home and that we'll miss him too.

I'm sorry if I've been neglecting the blog and for the absence of any sparkling wit... I'm just tired and ready for this to be over.  It will feel better once we're in the air and our focus has shifted from the little one we have here to the one we have yet to meet over there.  Don't get me wrong.  We're thrilled about the trip!  It's just been harder than I thought dealing with Jack while getting ready for it.

We can't wait to see what our newest little one looks like and what sort of personality he has.  I hope we've got the bases covered with things to play with.  It's hard not knowing how old he going to be!  Do I bring teething rings or Tonka trucks?  Books or baby blankets?  I think we've brought enough variation to at least keep him entertained for a bit.

Well, I need to head off to bed and get ready for our big day tomorrow.  I'll be popping an Ambien to help me off to dreamland... better living through chemistry and all that!!

Next post from Moscow!!

Thanks guys...

Thanks to all of you that took the time to post support and suggestions as well as those that wrote me privately.

Some of the things we have planned... have some little gifts for him to open each day (nothing pricey), Skype video every day after school, make a DVD with us reading some of his favorite stories (we LOVE 'The Kissing Hand') and do a count-down paper chain.  It was great to have all those ideas validated except for Sinzi's bad experience with poor little Diego and Skype.  I hope Jack does okay with it, if not, we'll limit the calls as needed.  The last thing poor Nana needs is a hysterical pre-schooler on her hands!

You guys are all so creative!!  Treasure hunts, hiding little love hearts, daily "mail calls" and video run downs of the day... great stuff, guys, great stuff.  The biggest thing we have left to do is record some stories.  I was planning on doing it earlier this week, then we both got sick with the colds from hell.  I keep hoping I'll clear up so I don't sound so nasal, but I guess he can live with my Fran Drescher imitation!

I think we're still in denial that we're actually leaving to meet our son.  I know I've mentioned it before, but it seems so vague and unreal without a referral in hand.  It's hard to get our hopes up for a complete unknown, and there is a possibility that we may come home without accepting a child.  Remote, but possible.  Before we met Jackson, I  told everyone that unless the he had a third hand growing out of his forehead, we were bringing him home!  I'm sure once we've seen the little guy and squished on him, it'll be a foregone conclusion.

It's getting late and I've got a busy day tomorrow.  I'm getting my hair done, then taking Jack with me to get one last document apostilled.  Then we come home and start stuffing the final things into a suitcase and begin hyperventilating.

Anyone got a paper bag I can put over my head?

Living in a fairy tale...

Sneezy, wheezy, snotty and restless... along with hyper, sassy and anxious are the new names of the seven dwarves that are living at my house.  Lance and I are both sick with vicious colds that are amazingly drug resistant.  Honestly, I've never had a cold that laughed at the OTC meds I've thrown at it.  At least we should be over the worst of it when we fly out on Saturday... I hope!

Jackson is slowly melting down, he's getting more and more anxious about us leaving.  He's not eating well, and keeps telling me that his tummy hurts.  We've learned over the years that hurting tummy means anxiety, you know how you get an nervous knot in your stomach?  It doesn't take much to tip Jack over the edge on a good day, he's an anxious little guy at baseline.  We've had non-stop chatter, constant hyper-activity, poor eating, self-injury and my favorite, acting out with body fluids.

I've debated whether or not to write about this, but it might help other adoptive parents after they bring their kids home.  Jack potty trained quickly and easily at a little over 2 1/2 years old.  He's had the odd accident or two, mostly related to being stuck somewhere he didn't have access to a potty.  One day last summer, I went into the bathroom and there was urine EVERYWHERE.  It looked like he'd just hosed the place down.  I asked him about it, then had him help me clean it up.  I didn't know what to make of it.

Then it happened again... and this time I was aware of some ongoing stress in the household.  I was getting ready to have some surgery, we had out of town guests coming and we were in the middle of completing our homestudy.  This time I asked Jackson if he was feeling mad... "No",  sad... "No", scared... "Yes!" accompanied by heartfelt sobbing.  We talked through it and he was able to tell me what he was scared of (Mommy not coming home again) and how he could always tell us how he was feeling, etc. etc.  We discussed the fact that going pee-pee on everything was not an appropriate way to behave, even if he was upset.  Again, he helped me clean up the bathroom... no recriminations, no yelling.

Sunday morning I go into the downstairs bathroom and once again there is urine everywhere, the floor, the baseboards, all over the toilet.  You can call me a lot of things, but a slow learner isn't one of them.  We talked about how he was feeling... obviously he's upset about our upcoming trip.  But here's the thing he said that broke my heart... he said he's afraid we're going to bring baby brother home, like him more, then take him (Jackson) back to Russia and leave him there.  I reassured him that a family is forever, that includes him AND baby brother, no one is getting returned to Russia no matter what.  Once more I have him help clean up the bathroom in a very matter of fact way.

The last two days have been filled with all kinds of hitting, himself mostly, with toys and objects and his own hands.  I really don't know what to do with this behavior.  I just keep taking his hands, or whatever he's hitting himself with and saying "Nobody hurts my baby, and that includes you."  It's like he has this pile of unused energy and he's gotta use it or explode.  He's given daily opportunities to burn it off, but it's never enough.  He literally CANNOT be still for more than three or four seconds.  It's like this continuous gyration and flailing... it's enough to drive me to drink!  All the normal things we do to help him feel better aren't working, rocking, holding time, quiet time... none of it helps.  I'm really at a loss.

If there's anyone out there that has kids home and has experienced this sort of behavior, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  There may not be anything else to do except get the trip over with.  I sure would love some input on this...

I have some good news and some bad news....

The bad news is that I'm currently suffering one of the worst colds I've had in the last century.  The good news is that I'm suffering NOW instead of a week from now!  I really am thanking God for small favors.

When I can sit upright and type without mouth-breathing and dripping snot on the keyboard, I'll tell you all about how very, VERY excited we are to be traveling this weekend to meet little man.  In the meantime, talk amongst yourselves....

~sniff, snort, drip~